The Wedding, As it Wasn't Supposed to Happen
by AuburnSly
Summary: Everything is perfect. Edward is ready to take her hand in marriage and Jacob is ready to let her go. But what does Bella really want? T for later, JXB
1. Don't Dream It's Over

**Note: Not mine. However, if the plot is intriguing enough, I will continue with later chapters. Let me know. : ) **

I took a deep breath, taking in all the crisp air my lungs could hold. I was ready. Everything was set; everything was beautiful. Alice had done amazingly with the limited rein I had given her, requesting the guest list contain only the necessary guests and the wedding remain under a reasonable price.

I didn't want things to be extravagant. I wanted them to be nice. Pretty, but at the same time a little plain. Like me.

A knock woke me out of my stupor and the door opened before I could answer. The large bell of my white wedding dress made turning quickly a little difficult. Through the long curls my hair had become I could see Alice sneaking into the room, a solemn look on her face.

"Oh, Alice, you're here. I was worried, I can't figure out this head thing," I said, pulling at the vale half mangled on my head. But Alice didn't answer me, instead stepping forward and taking the vale from my hands.

"Don't put it on just yet," she half-smiled in my direction, never meeting my eyes.

"But I don-" There was another knock on the door, this one more hesitant and hard than Alice's soft knock.

"Come in," Alice called, setting the vale on the vanity in front of me.

The large dress shoes gave it away before anything else. His steps were unsure but determined as he entered the room, his hair longer than the last time I had seen him. He was wearing black slacks and a white oxford button down with no tie. I suspected the little clothing was due to him running here. Maybe coming was a last minute decision.

"Bella," he breathed, stepping only as close as he felt he could without being too close to Alice.

"Jacob," I smiled back. I admitted to myself that I had missed him while he was gone. Billy had called Charlie the second Jacob stumbled home, hoping I would drive to see him. And although I wanted to so badly, I kept myself around Edward to deter the hole in my heart Jacob's absence left. I had doubted Jacob wanted to see me, anyway.

But there he was, standing in half a suite, smiling at me. He was my Jacob now, and it radiated off him in waves.

"I'll go check on everything," Alice said, looking from me to Jacob and back again. She paused in the door way, looking back at me. "You look beautiful, Bella," she said before closing the door softly behind her.

"She's right," Jacob beamed, taking a few steps closer to me. "Even if you do smell." He crinkled his nose, but his smile never left his face.

"I can't believe you came," I answered, picking the vale back up from the vanity. I was fidgeting, probably only making the mess worse.

"Me either," he shrugged, his hair falling back over his shoulder. "But I thought I should get over myself a little, you know? This might be the last time I see you before…" His deep voice trailed off, and I knew exactly what he was saying.

The plans were all laid out: Edward and I would be renting a private jet as part of our honeymoon, and it would "crash" on the way back from France. The rest of the Cullens would be too distraught to stay in Forks and have to leave soon after. I tried not to think about Charlie and Renee as I ran over the details in my mind.

"I know," I whispered. All my fears had stayed bottled up in my mind since he'd left. I couldn't tell Edward I was scared, he would never agree to the change if I let even the smallest hint of regret slip.

As if knowing I was having an inner battle with my mind and the plans already set, Jacob took the final two steps forward and wrapped me in a heated hug. I let myself relax into his arms, wrapping mine around his middle, as I was too short to reach his neck. I could feel him lean over and kiss the top of my head, and take a deep breath as if he were trying to stay calm.

"I'll miss you," I whispered into his shirt, sure my mascara Alice so gently applied was ruining his white shirt.

"I'll miss you too, Bella," he replied, hugging me just a little tighter. "But I have to let you go."

I took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the forest off his skin. His arms were warmer than I remembered, his skin catching on fire where it touched my bare shoulders. I hugged him tighter, hoping he could hide me away for just a little bit longer.

"You should get going, Bella," Jacob whispered into my hair, and I knew he didn't mean it. "You'll stall your own wedding."

At that moment, a new rush of panic flowed over my body. Wedding. I was getting married. At 18. I was getting married and giving everything up. But it was what I wanted… wasn't it?

I could feel my legs start to quiver and used Jacob to hold myself up. He noticed my hold on him had increased from embrace to life threatening, and automatically sat me down on the vanity stool behind me.

"Bella?" The concern in his eyes was enormous, hiding the normal gleam of playfulness that was the only hint he was still a child at heart. "Bella, breathe."

I took a deep breath, but the air felt stale and heavy. Jacob leaned down in front of me, taking my small, pale hands into his large ones. I looked down at our hands, his fingers intertwined with mine.

I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want to leave anyone, not Charlie, Renee, Angela, or even Mike. I wanted to stay here, in Forks, where everything was too green and stayed wet all the time. I wanted a family to raise, and a husband with a comfortable job and a small house with a picket fence. But with Edward, we would always be on the move, never making new friends or experiencing new life.

I took another shaky breath, letting go of Jacob's hands and standing up.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," I sighed, looking down at my dress.

"Bella, don't be sorry," he coaxed. "This will make you happy, I know it. I'll be okay just knowing you're safe." He'd stood too, holding me by my shoulders. His tone was soft and reassuring, as if I were about to break at any moment.

"That's not why I'm sorry," I whispered. His dark brow creased with confusion, holding my shoulders a little tighter than before.

"I don-," he started, but the door opening cut him off before he could finish. Alice stood in the door way, her lilac satin dress flowing in the wind from the swinging door. Her eyes were glassy, but her lips pulled into a forced smile. She took a few steps into the room, gently laying a hand on Jacob's forearm. He looked as if he were about to pull away, but thought better of it when she reached out to touch my cheek.

"It's okay, Bella," she whispered. "We all understand. Edward especially."

I sniffed, nodding slowly. Jacob looked from me to Alice, his lips parted as if to ask a question.

"I'm so sorry," I said, feeling the tears leave black trails down my cheeks. She shook her head delicately, putting a finger to my lips.

"We know," she soothed, pulling me into her embrace. "We know."

Jacob had backed away, standing by the door that was still open, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. A noise in the hall made him turn his head and straighten his back, glancing from me to the door before backing away slowly. I closed my eyes, trying to avoid seeing who I knew was coming.

"Bella," his voice said, ringing in my ears. "Bella," he said again, Alice's small arms being replaced by his grip on my shoulder. "Look at me, love."

I slowly opened my eyes, wanting to close them back again the second I saw his face. If vampire's could cry, I had no doubt he would have been crying for a while now.

"This is what's best," Edward was saying, one hand cupped under my chin and the other tangled in my curls. "I can't take your life from you, no matter how often you beg me to. You have a choice, and I can't let you choose what I think is wrong."

I nodded my head again, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"But I don't want you to go," I heard my voice say, and his grim chuckle made me open my eyes again.

"I won't. I was never really gone before, Bella. I'll always make sure you're safe," his cool breath moved across my cheek as he leaned in to kiss my forehead. "This is what's best. Know that I will never hold your choice against you," he whispered into my hair as I moved my arms to hug him around the neck. He let me hug him, his arms lightly draped around my waist.

"You look lovely," he said once he had taken a step back, letting my hands fall to the sides of my dress.

"Be good, Bella," Alice's voice chimed from the corner of the room and I sent a weak smile in her direction.

"And be safe," was Edward's reply, looking deeply into my eyes before turning to leave. He followed Alice to the door, stopping only once to glance at Jacob.

"Keep her safe, Jacob," he said, nodding only once.

"I will… Edward," Jacob replied, taking his hands from his pockets. He looked as if he were to extent his hand, but thought better of it as Edward closed the door quietly behind him.


	2. I'll Cover You

**Note: Sorry it took me a while to get this one up; school started back and getting settled in took a lot of time. I decided I have a whole lot of ideas for this one, so expect more soon. : ) **

** PS - Thanks to all who reviewed!  
**

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And then there was Jacob. I looked at him through the tears welling up in my eyes, watching him shift from foot to foot. I sat down slowly on the stool behind me, folding my hands in my lap. I wasn't sure if I wanted Jacob to comfort me or leave me alone, so I let him stand by the door, looking uncomfortably at his shoes.

I was sure the Cullens were gone. At least Edward was, probably running as fast as he could to anywhere but this small church surrounded by trees. I let my head hang just a little more at the thought of Edward, probably wishing he'd never met me or my stupid blood.

I lifted my head then, remembering the pews full of guests still waiting to see me take Edward's hand in holy matrimony. I sighed, wiping the old tear stains from my cheeks, too scared to look into the mirror and see my ruined hair and make-up. I stood, walking slowly to the door, feeling Jacob's eyes on me with every step I took.

"Stay here, Jake," I said quietly, putting my hand on the knob. "I'll be back." Jacob shook his head, taking a step back to sit on the floral couch under the window. I pushed the door open quietly, taking a deep breath as the cold air hit my lungs. The little room I was in seemed safe compared to the rest of the church where anyone could see me. I walked purposefully down the hall that would lead me to the main chamber. I stopped again to take another deep breath before pushing aside the heavy old curtain that blocked the room from sight.

All the pews were empty, save for the very first pew where Charlie, Renee, and Angela sat in total silence. Charlie was wearing a nice suit he had agreed to purchase just for the occasion and Renee was dressed in a light pink, knee-length dress. Angela was still wearing her bride's maid dress, made exactly like Alice's.

I stepped into the room, my dress making more noise than my feet. Renee was the first to look up, laying a hand on both Charlie and Angela as I took another step toward them. But unlike I expected, Charlie was the first to stand and wrap his arms around me, holding me close and petting my deflating curls. I took a deep breath, smelling his cologne he only wore for special occasions and the familiar smell of our house. Renee placed her hands on my shoulders shortly after, not bothering to pull me away from Charlie, merely hugging me from behind. Her perfume and the smell of the beach calmed me, letting the words finally come out of my mouth.

"Where-," but Angela stepped forward then, smiling slightly but not touching me.

"Edward told us there was a slight problem, and the wedding would be canceled," she spoke softly, looking as if she were about to cry herself.

"I'm sorry, Bells," Charlie said into my hair, and suddenly I couldn't help it. I started to cry again, fresh tears ruining what little mascara hadn't already run down my cheeks.

"I know, honey," Renee cooed, running her fingers through my hair. "Just let it out."

And I did. On the shoulder of Charlie's jacket I poured out all my anguish and love for Edward. How much I hated myself for hurting him and the rest of the Cullens. That I knew I was never going to see him again, even if he did check on me from time to time. And that I was too foolish to hear what my heart had been telling for weeks until I'd finally seen Jake again.

"J-Jake," I stuttered between sobs, and to my surprise I felt a new set of arms wrap around me. These were strong, and warm, lifting me off the ground and cradling me to a hard chest.

"Take her home, Jacob," I heard Renee plead, her cool hand slipping from my arm as Jake exited the church. Then I was outside, the warm air hitting my bare skin and the soft mist falling into my face.

"Jake," I whispered, cracking my eyes only enough to see his face in the dim light.

"Bella," he weakly smiled back. "Just rest. You'll be home soon."

I felt the softness of a passenger seat before I succumbed to the exhaust and closed my eyes, hearing the roar of an engine and Jake's deep voice before I fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Wake Me Up

**Note: While I was at it I decided to post the 3rd chapter I managed to crank out while putting off History notes. Enjoy! **

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My first intelligible thought was that I had fallen, and was again in the hospital. But as I gained more of my memory, the harsh truth of where I was and what had happened washed over me. I rolled over, attempting to hide myself from the world a little longer, but a sudden thought stopped me. My legs were wrapped in soft fleece instead of a wrinkled wedding gown, and the thought made me open my eyes enough to see the rest of my apparel. I was dressed in an old shirt I knew to be from the bottom of the dresser and a pair of my pajama pants from the night before. I set up a little, rubbing the sleep and stale tears from my eyes.

"Oh, Bella," my mother breathed from the rocking chair in the corner of my room, standing immediately to come to my side.

"Mom," I croaked, trying my best to smile at her. Her soft hand on my shoulder gently laid me back into bed, running her hands through my tangled hair.

"What time is it?" I asked, closing my eyes in the bliss of her hands softly working their way through the tangles in my hair.

I felt her raise her arm to look at her watch before she continued her quest through the nest my hair had become.

"It's about 9:30, honey." I opened my eyes, looking out the window. The sun was barely visible through the clouds, but it wasn't raining. Yet.

"Tomorrow?" I asked, closing my eyes again.

"Haha, yes. Tomorrow," her petting increased a little. "Well, today, rather."

I ran my tongue over my teeth, thinking to myself that I could stand to brush my teeth. Renee's fingers caught another knot, reminding me that I needed a shower, too. I stood slowly, taking my time to gather towels to she would understand where I was going.

"You want anything to eat?" she asked, picking up the dirty clothes around my room and depositing them in my hamper.

"No, I'll get something when I come down," I answered, already on my way to the bathroom. I heard her mumble something under her breath before smiling at me and heading down the stairs.

Finally in the shower I let the hot water wash away all the hairspray and mascara that might have been left. I spent an extra five minutes letting the water hit my shoulders, taking the time to relish in being alone, knowing this would be the only time I was alone for the rest of the day.

After my shower I took extra time to get ready, making sure the dark circles under my eyes weren't as visible as they had been and my hair had a little more lift to make me look more cheerful. I was going to be okay, I knew it. But making sure Renee and Charlie knew was a different matter.

I descended the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible. It worked, as I could hear Charlie talking in the kitchen.

"I knew he was no good. I knew he would leave her again. Renee, you have no idea what a mess she was before. If I get my hands on that little…" his voice trailed as I heard Renee take a long breath, signaling she was about to say something he might not like.

"Charlie… are you sure he was the one to leave her?" The question cut across my heart, and I felt the urge to run back upstairs. But the silence from the kitchen kept me rooted on the stairs.

"You could see it in his eyes," Renee started, sounding genuinely sad. "He loves Bella, I know. And Bella loves him, more than we could see. But… I think Bella might have been the one to call it off, Charlie."

Charlie's silence suggested he was either shocked into silence or getting another cup of coffee. I listened hard for the sound of a mug on the counter, but all I heard was the sound of my own breathing.

Finally, he said, "So she's going to be all right." I could hear the smile in Renee's voice as she let out a small laugh and said, "Yes, she'll be just fine."

I chose that moment to make my entrance into the kitchen, heading straight for the orange juice in the refrigerator.

"Morning!" I said brightly, pouring myself a glass, holding the bottle up to ask if either of them wanted some. Renee smiled but shook her head and Charlie grunted a no. I shrugged and put the orange juice back, letting my smile drop as I looked through the food. I silently hoped my acting wasn't as transparent as I thought it was.

"Bells," Charlie said, standing and moving beside me. I pulled my head out of the refrigerator, closing the door to look at him. "You know I'm here if you need me."

I nodded, pulling at a strand of hair that had fallen over my shoulder.

"And well," he continued. "I just want you to know that I love you. And… well, that's all, I guess." He blushed, tightening his grip on his coffee mug.

"I know, Dad," I said as I put my arms around his middle and hugged. I could feel him drape an arm over my shoulders and hug back before he pushed me back lightly.

"And I know you don't want to be rushed, but Jake called this morning. He was just checking in, so don't be mad."

I sighed and smiled my first real smile all morning.

"Thanks, I'll call him back now." Renee beamed at me from the kitchen table as I took the phone off the receiver and headed into the living room where I could finally let me cheeks rest. I dialed Jake's number and it rang only once before Billy answered, sounding relieved to hear the call come in.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Billy. Is Jake around?"

His gruff voice laughed a little at a joke I wasn't understanding and I heard him call to Jacob in the background. Within a second a new voice was on the line.

"Bella?" Jake sounded overjoyed and yet still a little panicked.

"Hi, Jake. Charlie said you called, and I wanted to make sure you knew I was okay."

I heard him breath out, and I could see his face light up in a smile through my mind.

"Wanna hang out today?" His voice was bright and expecting, and part of me wanted so desperately to say yes.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I have a lot to take care of since… you know."

"Yeah… I just thought you could use some cheering up." Suddenly the flash of Jacob's wolf form nudging my hand ran across my mind, and my heart fluttered a little.

"Well," I started, "I'm sure I have a little time today."

I heard a noise over the phone and I imagined Jake thrusting his fist in the air in triumph.

"I'll be there in 20 minutes!" He called as he set the phone down, and before I could answer I was listening to the dial tone.


End file.
